Let me start by saying, you are beautifully and wonderfully made. This isn't a concept you are even close to being ready to accept yet, but no worries, you will finally get it...eventually. High school was so hard. I know you suffered deep hurts at the hands of people who should've been friends, teachers that should have been speaking life, and boys that should have been cherishing you. At this point in your life, you've just started dating "the one." (Just so you know, he's not actually "the one." Super great guy, but your 16 year old imagination is going to get WAAYY ahead of yourself, as well as God's timing. Your heart will be broken for a bit, but God's going to come and heal you in ways you didn't even know you needed to be healed) One of the biggest things I wish I could tell you, at this point, is that at 16 years old, you should NOT be dating with the intention of marriage. Believe it or not, this is going to be advice you will receive. These people speaking this to you have really good intentions, unfortunately, you needed someone to step up and begin to help you identify the lies that you are believing about yourself (which you'll get, in about 4 years). Instead, I wish I could tell you a few things about yourself, and who you are. Amanda, you are worthy of love. You do not need to earn it. I know you're tired of hearing Mom say it to you, over and over and over. Guess what, she's right. She's also going to become your best friend in a couple years, and you're really going to wish you had treated her and Dad better than you did at 16. You are so blessed. You have two parents that absolutely adore you, and two really great sisters that are looking up to you, and not really getting the greatest example from right now. (You're also going to get better at the whole setting a good example thing, no worries). Also, you are not defined by what others speak about you, call you, or how they treat you. You are a daughter of the most high King, and you deserve to be treated this way. There are going to be times when you don't even come close to living up to that title, but thankfully, God is a merciful God, and His grace will cover you.
You're going to make some pretty serious mistakes in the next couple years, Amanda. You're going to believe that the only reason you should be in a relationship is if you're going to marry them, and this is going to cause you to stumble for a time. You're going to take your faith off of God, and you're going to count on a guy instead, which is totally unfair to him. You're going to make compromises, out of a place of needing to feel love, and believing the lie that you have to earn it. You're going to be so attached to this guy you're with, that when God tells you to end it, you're going to ignore Him for a very long time, and it's going to cause much more heartache.
But, there's so much happiness that's still to come! God is going to absolutely wreck you, over and over and over with His loving mercy and grace. He's going to rise you up to places of leadership and authority that you never dreamed of. He's going to allow you to partner with Him to help people break the chains of MAJOR spiritual bondage in their lives. And best of all, He's going to give you hope. Right now, I know you're so filled with hopelessness. You're distracted right now, with new love on the horizon. You think this is going to fill the void that was created by years of low self-esteem, self-hate, and words filled with hate from others. It's not, only God can do that. I wish I could go back in time and tell you that God's the only way you're going to get over some of those deeps wounds that have caused you to feel dead inside. You're so ashamed of some of the things you've done, and some of the choices you've made. Even though you've tried to escape it, it feels like everywhere you turn the accuser is throwing the evidence of your unworthiness in your face, and the people around just don't seem to be able to forget. Believe it or not, some people just aren't going to let it go, but you, darling, are going to learn to let it go.
You're going to meet amazing people, make incredible heart friends, and meet the God you've been holding at an arms length for so long. You're going to learn that regardless of what you've done in the past, God will continue to take you as you are, over and over again. Your story hasn't even begun yet. God has SO MANY amazing things in store for you, and while a part of me wishes I could go back in time so you don't have to go through those things, those things are going to serve such a huge role in being able to get the freedom that you have today.
And just so you know, no matter what anyone says, you embrace that romantic heart of yours. Keep praying for your husband, and believe that in His time, God's going to bring Him to you. You do not have your head in the clouds. It's going to be hard, but after you get a chance to find your identity, you're going to be more and more passionate about waiting for a man that is after God's heart, and he is going to cherish you. But, until then, enjoy God's relentless pursuit of your heart. He loves you beyond all reason, and it's all going to be all right.
Love, 22 Year Old Amanda
P.S. You remember when you were told that you would never make it to university, let alone teacher's college? You're not only going to make it into university, you're going to get into Concurrent Education, and be on track to graduate by the time you're writing this letter. Atta girl! :)
You're going to make some pretty serious mistakes in the next couple years, Amanda. You're going to believe that the only reason you should be in a relationship is if you're going to marry them, and this is going to cause you to stumble for a time. You're going to take your faith off of God, and you're going to count on a guy instead, which is totally unfair to him. You're going to make compromises, out of a place of needing to feel love, and believing the lie that you have to earn it. You're going to be so attached to this guy you're with, that when God tells you to end it, you're going to ignore Him for a very long time, and it's going to cause much more heartache.
But, there's so much happiness that's still to come! God is going to absolutely wreck you, over and over and over with His loving mercy and grace. He's going to rise you up to places of leadership and authority that you never dreamed of. He's going to allow you to partner with Him to help people break the chains of MAJOR spiritual bondage in their lives. And best of all, He's going to give you hope. Right now, I know you're so filled with hopelessness. You're distracted right now, with new love on the horizon. You think this is going to fill the void that was created by years of low self-esteem, self-hate, and words filled with hate from others. It's not, only God can do that. I wish I could go back in time and tell you that God's the only way you're going to get over some of those deeps wounds that have caused you to feel dead inside. You're so ashamed of some of the things you've done, and some of the choices you've made. Even though you've tried to escape it, it feels like everywhere you turn the accuser is throwing the evidence of your unworthiness in your face, and the people around just don't seem to be able to forget. Believe it or not, some people just aren't going to let it go, but you, darling, are going to learn to let it go.
You're going to meet amazing people, make incredible heart friends, and meet the God you've been holding at an arms length for so long. You're going to learn that regardless of what you've done in the past, God will continue to take you as you are, over and over again. Your story hasn't even begun yet. God has SO MANY amazing things in store for you, and while a part of me wishes I could go back in time so you don't have to go through those things, those things are going to serve such a huge role in being able to get the freedom that you have today.
And just so you know, no matter what anyone says, you embrace that romantic heart of yours. Keep praying for your husband, and believe that in His time, God's going to bring Him to you. You do not have your head in the clouds. It's going to be hard, but after you get a chance to find your identity, you're going to be more and more passionate about waiting for a man that is after God's heart, and he is going to cherish you. But, until then, enjoy God's relentless pursuit of your heart. He loves you beyond all reason, and it's all going to be all right.
Love, 22 Year Old Amanda
P.S. You remember when you were told that you would never make it to university, let alone teacher's college? You're not only going to make it into university, you're going to get into Concurrent Education, and be on track to graduate by the time you're writing this letter. Atta girl! :)
